RETURN TO CAMAS

Written by: Bronwyn Harrison

I think I had a lot of expectations. Expectations about the new educators. Expectations about the new younger ones. Expectations about myself, and my role on this day.
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I felt myself collapse into old routines, greeted by the people I care for deeply. Although I am not the most affectionate, I accepted the love offered to me. The surprise and excitement of seeing friends new and old fills my heart with a deep purpose and sense of belonging.

I feel I am where I am meant to be.
It feels like home, and perhaps it is.
I became accustomed to this appreciation, self-ful in my embrace of the attention.
I could feel the differences, and I wondered where I fit in.

As we wandered outside, some children stayed close to me, eyes wide with wonder watching the various groups descend to their chosen places. It was like a play on the first night, the actors knowing their lines but tentative  in their delivery. We eventually galloped across the wet, green fields, past the leafless trees, the mud befriending the bottom of our boots. We stood under the tree, seeing our counterparts already having dug their heels into the sandy abyss. Some quickly embarked into the thick forest. Others joined those entrenched in the sand.

I simply watched the performance knowing it was where I wanted to be. I conversed with those around me, excited to hear about recent events. We later went back over the grassy knolls, ready for nourishment and camaraderie. After consuming from the metal boxes and colourful plastic vessels, I left for a time, taking in the outdoors with some nourishment for myself. Once back, I lay my head to rest among the restless. It was quiet, save some tears and an entry and exit or two. We left once again, embracing the familiar terrain. We ran among the wood chips, conversing as monsters. It slowly grew darker, and the numbers dropped to a few. It got colder still, and we retreated to the warmth of our home and a lovely scent filled the air. After some sweeping motions, doors latched, and the last of the children had departed, we said goodbye for now, and went off into the night.